That title is missing four letters.
CBS seems to have a fondness for the procedural, and nowhere is that more apparent than in their new one, the aptly titled Bull. Loosely based on the early life of folksy self-help guy Doctor Phil McGraw, the show seemed to have a lot going for it by snagging Michael Weatherly of all people. I’ve been a huge fan of this man’s work since Dark Angel back in the early 2000s, so I figured that I would give it a shot…
…and it’s another spectacular mess.
Weatherly Is A Charmer. The Rest Of The Cast Is Disposable.
Michael Weatherly deserves better than this.
There is something very important that feeds into how I feel about Bull. The show appears to be carried entirely by the charisma of Michael Weatherly. Coming off well over a decade on NCIS, the man pulls off a reasonably charming performance as Dr. Jason Bull. His portrayal seems to be a few parts DiNozzo, a few parts psychologist, and one part cynic. I’m going to address that last piece later on because it feeds into what irks me about this show the most.
Unfortunately, the rest of the cast is a mix of the same old and tired crime show team tropes. The embarrassing thing about it is that I cannot remember a single thing about any of them except for Annabelle Attanasio’s portrayal of a woman named Cable. Her only memorable (and laughable) line was used to explain that Millennials think that listening to music at work helps them focus.
Hey CBS, come here. It’s time for a little intervention with Eric time. I know that your audience skews old and that you’re trying to grab Millennial viewers, but there is no excuse for that kind of writing in a pilot script. Not now, not ever. Most old people are intelligent enough to know that people like to listen to music while they work, even the dreaded Millennials that are entering the workforce!
Ugh. I probably should have expected this. After all, they did put in hackneyed interviews to say that the justice system is rigged right at the beginning of the show.
The Story Is Kind Of Disturbing.
That’s nothing. You should see that time when he pulled his own finger.
The most embarrassing thing about the concept of this series is how Paul Attanasio (the father of the aforementioned Annabelle) and Phil McGraw present a cynical look at juries and the justice system. The main lesson appears to be that the members are swayed more by appearances and manipulation, rather than facts or reasonable doubt. “Innocent until proven guilty” is characterized as nothing more than a jingle or a lie. To make matters worse, the show peppers in nonsensical appeals to the culture…
…only to turn around and say not to give up on people because they’re all we’ve got.
You might think little of that moral whiplash, but it gets even weirder. The Trial Analysis Corporation (where most of the cast works) is involved in some questionable legal practices by spying on members of the jury. They feed the data into a model and use a mirror jury that portrays the possible return on a verdict for each juror, and Bull gets it exactly right.
But what happens if he ever got it wrong? As they mentioned, the model has an accuracy rating in the 90s. However, that could even be flimsy unless the show operates on a worldview that people are insanely predictable. Would he ever end up getting a murderer off? What would happen then?
We’ll Never Hear About It Again.
How many people can actually afford these services?
Apart from the weird trial and possibly unethical cast, this script has two major twists in it that are never mentioned again. First, the defense lawyer of the story ends up getting a tablet thrown in his face by a testifier named Adele Bensimon during the trial. Naturally, this would get someone arrested for assault and battery, but she later turns up when the verdict is returned.
Why? No reason.
There’s also an assassination attempt on Rich Boy Pennybags’ father during the episode. After a short scene in the hospital, it never pops up again either. I can understand that they needed to keep a focus on the story, but it seems like there were scenes cut for time that could have fed into these subplots. All that they really needed was a few seconds to show them going to jail at the end of the episode, but that never happened.
Why? I don’t know.
Conclusion.
Did anyone ask if this was legal?
It’s a damn shame that Michael Weatherly didn’t quite land on his feet after his departure from NCIS. While Bull premiered last night to a 2.2 and an audience of over 15 million viewers, I’m not sure that it has the legs to move forward into a multi-season storyline. Then again, who knows? CBS seems like it’s built for this sort of show, rather than a creative and original spin on something.
At least we have Designated Survivor to look forward to. That can’t be a lousy show, right?
Right?
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