Special thanks To Tim Pool, #1 Marmaduke Fan, and Nick Monroe for some of the information that led to the creation of this story.
Update (1/21/2019): Nathan Phillips may not have fought in the Vietnam War. According to Indian Country Today and the Omaha World-Herald, he was born at some point in 1955. If he joined the Marines at 17 or 18, he would have been trained in 1972-1973, but all Marine combat operations ended in 1971. Special thanks to @_NoMan2000 for pointing it out!
Update #2 (1/21/2019): The Huffington Post updated their story to properly reflect what happened. Meanwhile, CNN engaged in substantive stealth editing and did not show what actually happened.
Update #3 (1/22/2019): CNN and The Guardian spelled it out in other articles. That’s good enough to cross them off the list below!
Update #4 (1/24/2019): Confirmation of Update #1. Phil Kerpen tweeted out multiple videos that show that Nathan Phillips claimed that he was a Vietnam veteran. A former Navy SEAL by the name of Don Shipley tracked down his DD-214, which shows that he was actually a mechanic who went AWOL multiple times.
Most of you know that I like to comment on wider cultural trends every now and then, and yesterday provided plenty of cannon fodder for my amusement. The third Women’s March of Donald Trump’s administration kicked off yesterday, but it didn’t attract as many people due to rampant accusations of anti-Semitism, the influence of Louis Farrakhan, and many other factors that I won’t go into here. Therefore, I’d like to draw your attention to the confrontation between a bunch of private high school students, meme lords, and a Native American protester that exploded into a national scandal… for absolutely no reason.
The Original Story.
If you read mainstream media sites, you might have been led to believe that the boys of Covington Catholic High School got into a staring contest with Nathan Phillips, a Native American elder and possible agitator. Originally, I thought that said kids were just being young and stupid (Weren’t we all at the time?) by getting into a match-up with a Vietnam War veteran.
After all, aren’t they shooting their MAGA cause in the foot with such a contradiction?
Little did I know that there was more to the story than what most people were willing to admit. A LOT more. By that time, however, the Twitter outrage mob had turned an awkward confrontation into a national scandal.
In came the barrage of bullshit! The boys are a bunch of racists! Jim Crow! I Literally Can’t Even! Dox The Bastards Because Of Some Rules That I Made Up Just Now! Punch Them In The Face! Kill Them! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Somehow, the truth became lost in the shuffle until new video and social media testimony emerged from people who were at the march. As it turns out, there was a third faction on the ground that was agitating the students, and the Native Americans in question supposedly stepped in to defend them.
Can any of you guess who they were?
They Were Kangs!
You read that right. The Black Israelites were on the scene, spouting their usual racist and homophobic rhetoric. In a series of videos that detail the situation, these white devils had their minds opened to the power of Kemet. Among other things, they learned that they are a bunch of “incest babies” and that Americans “give faggots rights.”
Naturally, the MAGA kids responded to that latter point by… groaning in disapproval.
Wait a minute. Was that supposed to happen? I’m confused. The media told me that these Kentucky kids were the definition of pure evil!
In light of this new information, many of the reporters, politicians, actors, and pundits who responded to this story never bothered to issue retractions or investigate the real agitators. These people and outlets include, but are not limited to, GQ, Mashable, The Guardian, The Huffington Post, CNN, Alyssa Milano, Chris Evans, Ava DuVernay, Rep. John Yarmuth, Francis Maxwell of The Young Turks, the Southern Poverty Law Center, Jennifer Beals, Senator Elizabeth Warren, and the Krassensteins.
Sure, one kid may have taken his shirt off, but who needs thought when celebrities and presidential candidates can do all of our thinking for us?
Where Do We Go From Here?
It’s rather obvious that a lot of people owe these kids an apology. School spirit chants and teenagers with MAGA hats may seem weird to some, but I think that all sane people can agree that no one should be mobbed for supporting a questionable politician or going to a rally. If their liberty is threatened, then it’s a good bet that our rights will fall down the long rabbit hole to oblivion as well.
We deserve better than that.
As for yours truly, you might be wondering where I’m going with this new desire to investigate the insanity that is invading our culture. I think that this is the perfect time to announce that this is the first installment of what I like to call “The R-Files.”
If the whole story isn’t out there, I intend to get at the truth with everything that I’ve got. Some of the stories will be funny, others will be awkward, and yet more will be as serious as a heart attack. Above all, if there’s fodder for your amusement out there, it’ll be put under the microscope.
Enjoy the ride!
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